In My Professional Opinion

Moving to a new place requires a lot more than just finding a place to live and getting all of your things there.

If you are going to truly be at this new location, you have to set up your life to be able to function in that area. That includes finding your new grocery store, drug store, and favorite gas stations. It means meeting new people and building friendships.

And it requires choosing a dentist, doctor, car repair shop, and any and all professionals to seek out when you need help.

My move to Los Angeles has been more of a process, in this last regard, as I generally just wait until I visit home and go to all my doctor's appointments at once.

This is something I would obviously like to change, but it always seems like some daunting life decision to commit to any doctor here. It's too scary to see a "professional" that my parents don't know and haven't verified.

I've tried to ask friends for referrals, but they are all living under similar circumstances. That's the trouble with LA: almost nobody is from here.

So I was very excited and proud of myself when I finally chose a dentist. He had good reviews and was incredibly close to my apartment. I felt good.

But that's not even the Fearless Friday, though it did take finally overcoming the voices in my head to do it. Something happened at this dentist and I had to make a judgment call.

I am no stranger to the dentist...or the orthodontist...or the periodontist...or the oral surgeon.

I've had all kinds of fun dental issues like soft teeth growing in with cavities already there, jaw bone that had to be removed to make room for my back teeth, gum grafts taken from the roof of my mouth, and six wisdom teeth that had to be removed in two different sittings (six years apart), to name a few.

My main issue is overcrowding. Dentists have been saying since I was little that my mouth is deceptively tiny.

So after years of braces and retainers, my crowded teeth forced themselves out of alignment, leaving my bottom teeth looking like the crazy dog's from "Despicable Me."

I had been wanting Invisalign and finally made the appointment with this new dentist. We took molds of my teeth and sent them off to have the trays made. Hooray for being proactive!

Then, the dentist called yesterday. He explained that in order to create space for the teeth to straighten out, he would need to shave off minuscule side portions of the teeth.

If you're still reading this exhaustive history of my teeth (thank you), then let me tell you a very bad experience that I had at one dentist. I had a very small chip in my front tooth and when I asked him what could be done about it, he just shaved the rest of it down to match the chipped part's length. Great.

So, naturally, this was not an option I was willing to see through without a second opinion. I told him I wanted to consult with my orthodontist back home who was familiar with my teeth and the previous treatments that had been used to straighten them. The dentist reluctantly agreed to give me a refund for the Invisalign if I would come in to the office to have it sorted out.

A few minutes later, his receptionist called back saying she could perform the refund over the phone so I didn't need to come in, but then quickly put me on hold...which was picked up by the dentist. He attempted to postpone the refund asking if there was any possibility that I might change my mind once I had spoken with my orthodontist. I was really confused and taken aback by his manner as he hurriedly mentioned that he would have to keep the molds as records for Invisalign, but I tried to remain calm as I explained that I couldn't see my original orthodontist for months and would really like to get the refund for now (and just get the hell out of the situation).

He then began to ask what I wanted to do with the records, only now, and without explanation, he was talking about my dental records that I'd had sent over from that orthodontist. He said I would need to come pick them up (aren't they just copies?) and take care of the refund, so I frustratedly agreed and hung up.

Then the receptionist called back once more, unaware of "where the dentist and I left off," as she put it. I explained I was coming in to get the records so she began trying to schedule an appointment, saying the dentist would only need maybe 30 minutes of my time to explain the procedure.

What in the world?????

It was all I could do to insist, through clenched crooked teeth, that she may tell the dentist that I understood and even trusted his professional opinion, but it was not something I wanted to go through with at the moment and I just wanted my refund. Thank you.

It turns out these "records" were just copies of old pictures that I could get at any time if I needed them, as I'd originally thought. So we finished the refund on the phone and I did what any self-respecting 23-year-old would do. I called my mom.

It took quite a lot for me to stand my ground and say no to his professional opinion. And by a lot, I mean the kind of self-doubting fear that makes you want to move back home and forget you ever tried to be an adult out on your own.

If you made it all the way through that rant (thank you, again), let me sum up by just admitting I was proud of sticking up for myself for once.

And I'm learning that choosing which professional to trust doesn't have to be "some daunting life decision," as I described earlier. There are so many crossroads in life whose importance we aggrandize to life-altering proportions. At that point it becomes almost impossible to make a decision, for fear you are putting yourself on the wrong life path.

Where should I live? Which career should I choose? Where should I invest my time and money?

These are important decisions to be thoughtfully considered, but it is also important to remember that the decision doesn't have to be permanent.

I can always change my dentist. And you can always change which path you want to follow. You just have to trust yourself to know when.

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What's been your worst experience at the dentist? When have you had to make a big judgment call? Let me know with a comment below!

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