In My Professional Opinion

Moving to a new place requires a lot more than just finding a place to live and getting all of your things there.

If you are going to truly be at this new location, you have to set up your life to be able to function in that area. That includes finding your new grocery store, drug store, and favorite gas stations. It means meeting new people and building friendships.

And it requires choosing a dentist, doctor, car repair shop, and any and all professionals to seek out when you need help.

My move to Los Angeles has been more of a process, in this last regard, as I generally just wait until I visit home and go to all my doctor's appointments at once.

This is something I would obviously like to change, but it always seems like some daunting life decision to commit to any doctor here. It's too scary to see a "professional" that my parents don't know and haven't verified.

I've tried to ask friends for referrals, but they are all living under similar circumstances. That's the trouble with LA: almost nobody is from here.

So I was very excited and proud of myself when I finally chose a dentist. He had good reviews and was incredibly close to my apartment. I felt good.

But that's not even the Fearless Friday, though it did take finally overcoming the voices in my head to do it. Something happened at this dentist and I had to make a judgment call.

I am no stranger to the dentist...or the orthodontist...or the periodontist...or the oral surgeon.

I've had all kinds of fun dental issues like soft teeth growing in with cavities already there, jaw bone that had to be removed to make room for my back teeth, gum grafts taken from the roof of my mouth, and six wisdom teeth that had to be removed in two different sittings (six years apart), to name a few.

My main issue is overcrowding. Dentists have been saying since I was little that my mouth is deceptively tiny.

So after years of braces and retainers, my crowded teeth forced themselves out of alignment, leaving my bottom teeth looking like the crazy dog's from "Despicable Me."

I had been wanting Invisalign and finally made the appointment with this new dentist. We took molds of my teeth and sent them off to have the trays made. Hooray for being proactive!

Then, the dentist called yesterday. He explained that in order to create space for the teeth to straighten out, he would need to shave off minuscule side portions of the teeth.

If you're still reading this exhaustive history of my teeth (thank you), then let me tell you a very bad experience that I had at one dentist. I had a very small chip in my front tooth and when I asked him what could be done about it, he just shaved the rest of it down to match the chipped part's length. Great.

So, naturally, this was not an option I was willing to see through without a second opinion. I told him I wanted to consult with my orthodontist back home who was familiar with my teeth and the previous treatments that had been used to straighten them. The dentist reluctantly agreed to give me a refund for the Invisalign if I would come in to the office to have it sorted out.

A few minutes later, his receptionist called back saying she could perform the refund over the phone so I didn't need to come in, but then quickly put me on hold...which was picked up by the dentist. He attempted to postpone the refund asking if there was any possibility that I might change my mind once I had spoken with my orthodontist. I was really confused and taken aback by his manner as he hurriedly mentioned that he would have to keep the molds as records for Invisalign, but I tried to remain calm as I explained that I couldn't see my original orthodontist for months and would really like to get the refund for now (and just get the hell out of the situation).

He then began to ask what I wanted to do with the records, only now, and without explanation, he was talking about my dental records that I'd had sent over from that orthodontist. He said I would need to come pick them up (aren't they just copies?) and take care of the refund, so I frustratedly agreed and hung up.

Then the receptionist called back once more, unaware of "where the dentist and I left off," as she put it. I explained I was coming in to get the records so she began trying to schedule an appointment, saying the dentist would only need maybe 30 minutes of my time to explain the procedure.

What in the world?????

It was all I could do to insist, through clenched crooked teeth, that she may tell the dentist that I understood and even trusted his professional opinion, but it was not something I wanted to go through with at the moment and I just wanted my refund. Thank you.

It turns out these "records" were just copies of old pictures that I could get at any time if I needed them, as I'd originally thought. So we finished the refund on the phone and I did what any self-respecting 23-year-old would do. I called my mom.

It took quite a lot for me to stand my ground and say no to his professional opinion. And by a lot, I mean the kind of self-doubting fear that makes you want to move back home and forget you ever tried to be an adult out on your own.

If you made it all the way through that rant (thank you, again), let me sum up by just admitting I was proud of sticking up for myself for once.

And I'm learning that choosing which professional to trust doesn't have to be "some daunting life decision," as I described earlier. There are so many crossroads in life whose importance we aggrandize to life-altering proportions. At that point it becomes almost impossible to make a decision, for fear you are putting yourself on the wrong life path.

Where should I live? Which career should I choose? Where should I invest my time and money?

These are important decisions to be thoughtfully considered, but it is also important to remember that the decision doesn't have to be permanent.

I can always change my dentist. And you can always change which path you want to follow. You just have to trust yourself to know when.

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What's been your worst experience at the dentist? When have you had to make a big judgment call? Let me know with a comment below!

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Be Kind

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."                                                          ~Ian Maclaren

I was so excited when I learned of this quote, because it had already become kind of a personal motto of mine.

Not to say I've never been mean (we're all human and I enjoy making sarcastic jokes), but many times I'm overly empathetic to someone's situation.

For instance, there was a game my friends sometimes played in high school where they'd stop driving at a green light just long enough for the car behind them to be stuck as the light turned red and they sped away. This should have been just a harmless inconvenience for their victims, but I always wondered if that person really needed to be somewhere.

What if they were racing to see their mother in the hospital? What if they were trying to get to their kid's basketball game on time? What if they were just having a really bad day and that was the last straw?

I know these circumstances may sound improbable and dramatic, but think of what you and your loved ones struggle with, not only during times of crisis, but on a daily basis. 

Right now, as you're reading this, you may know someone who was just diagnosed with cancer. Someone whose relative just passed away. Someone who just can't get that promotion no matter how hard they work and someone who doesn't know if they're going to be able to pay the bills this month. You may know someone who is being hurt by one they love or someone who is struggling with addiction. 

That someone could be you.

The point is, you don't know what's going on in someone else's life. And it seems to me that the small, temporary increase in your joy is not worth someone else's pain.

~

I was reminded of this when we ate at the Puerto Rican restaurant, Mofongos, that I wrote about in Tuesday's post.

I mentioned that our waitress spoke to me as we were getting ready to leave. 

She had been very nice the whole night as I randomly shouted "MOFONGOS!!!" using my best Vikings impression, gawked over the strange items on the menu, and made weird faces and laughed uncontrollably when I was too embarrassed to speak Spanish. 

After we'd paid and were gathering our things, she came over to the table to say thank you and told me that my crazy, silly self making her laugh was the happiest she'd been in three months. 

She held back tears as she explained that she hadn't been able to see her children during that time. The father lives far away and is abusing their joint custody agreement, making it difficult for her to see her own children. It started to sink in how long three months was as she showed us pictures of her two beautiful girls.

Yet somehow, if only for a brief moment, I had made it better. I was so overwhelmed by her story and how I could have that much effect on a person that I hugged her.

~

I hope sharing this story is not misconstrued as an attempt at boasting, but understood as an effort to reiterate that you never know what someone is going through. "Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

It's like I mentioned in last week's post, Comparing Yourself to a Facebook Profile. You only know what others are willing to share, and even those with whom you have the closest relationships may choose to not share their whole story (for various reasons, perhaps to ponder on a different day).

So I hope you remember to be kind.

It doesn't have to be big. In fact, it's those little things that can really add up and make a difference.

Be kind not to benefit you (though it will), but because it may be just what someone needed to alleviate their pain.

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When has someone shown you kindness at just the right moment? How have you demonstrated kindness without expecting anything in return? Let me know with a comment below!

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Kiss the Blarney Stone

                    Climb Blarney and reach the stone to kiss
                    Is something I don't want to miss
                    Lean back into dangers
                    Share spit with some strangers
                    To find eloquence, no longer amiss. 

Yes, I want to climb Blarney Castle, kiss the stone, and receive the fabled gift of gab.

Of course, anyone who personally knows my talkative self is shaking their heads right now saying, "Kaitlin, you don't need it!" But that is beside the point!

The Blarney Castle is located in the southwest region of Ireland in the the small town of Blarney, just five miles west of Cork. It was built almost 600 years ago and stands approximately 90 feet tall with the Blarney Stone resting at the top.

Kissing it, though slightly difficult, is much easier today than in years passed. Currently there are iron rods on either side of the stone that you grab while leaning backwards while an assistant spots you from above. From this position you are able to tilt your head back and kiss the Blarney Stone upside down.

Before this current process, one had to be lowered off the tower, being held only by their feet. Let's just say not everyone survived.

But if you are able to overcome your acrophobia (fear of heights) and don't mind that millions of others have kissed it before you, legend says that you will be awarded the gift of eloquence. Never again will you be at a loss for words.

There is much debate as to the origin of the stone, many of great Biblical and/or historical importance; however, the most widely accepted tale is that Cormac MacCarthy, who built the Blarney Castle, was involved in a lawsuit. He asked the goddess Clíodhna for help who told MacCarthy to kiss the first stone he found on his way to court. After obeying her instructions, MacCarthy eloquently pleaded his case and won, so he built the stone into the parapet of the castle.

Seeing as my dad is an eloquent lawyer and my mom is a direct descendant of the McCarthy clan, I'm okay with this version of the story.

I'm very excited to add Ireland and kissing the Blarney Stone to my wish list. It's gonna be LEGEN...wait for it...

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Have you kissed the Blarney Stone? Do you ever feel like you would benefit from the gift of eloquence? Let me know with a comment below!

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Mofongos: Puerto Rican Restaurant in North Hollywood, CA

MOFONGOS!!!!

This may have become my new favorite Spanish word as I went around happily shouting it at random strangers. To me, it sounds a lot like mother f#@$er. Which is always a plus.

Mofongos is a Puerto Rican restaurant in North Hollywood, California whose website claims is "The only place for Puerto Rican food in Los Angeles."

While I'm not sure I believe that assessment, it is definitely a nice place to get authentic Puerto Rican cuisine, verified by my authentic Puerto Rican friend, Lorena Bruno, who took me there.

What is a mofongo?
It is a traditional Puerto Rican dish made of fried green plantains, garlic, olive oil, and pork rinds mashed together with chicken broth poured over the top. This restaurant serves the mofongos in a bowl shape to hold the meat of your choosing.

I ordered the Mofongo de Carne Guisada:

A mofongo filled with beef stew. I wish I could say I loved it, but it was definitely an acquired taste for my picky tastebuds. Let me be clear here: it was good, it just wasn't something that would make me return to a restaurant.

The problem is, I can't tell if I wasn't excited about the beef stew or the mofongo.

The actual meat was delicious, but I've never really enjoyed any kind of stew and think that may have been where my less-than-adventurous tastes lacked enthusiasm. I get scared when I can't tell what exactly is in my food. So once olives and other unidentifiables started popping up, I just focused my attention on the beef.

Something I REALLY enjoyed were the tostones.

Lorena knew what she was doing when she ordered these fried plantains as a side dish, almost like getting chips or french fries with the meal.

Apparently Puerto Ricans are bananas for plantains! (Yeah...I had to.)

And so was I! Lorena requested a special sauce, that was mayonnaise and ketchup combined, which was perfect for these salty treats.

Next time, I would be really interested in trying one of their sandwiches with those trademark plantains. Here is their to-go menu, and more information may be found at their easily navigable website.

The restaurant itself, right off Lankershim, was small with no parking. There was a weird moment at the beginning of our experience as there were three of us, but one of our friends went to the bathroom, and we were sat at a four-top (as opposed to the only other options in the space, two-tops). Then, while the two of us were sitting there, a man approached us and said the table was reserved. However, the waitress explained that we were a party of three causing him to retract his statement.

I understand that with the size of his restaurant he would want us to sit at the appropriate size table, but the way the situation was handled just came off as a bit strange. Thankfully, the service quickly turned around and we were well taken care of by our helpful waitress.

She was very kind and spoke to me afterwards, which I will write about for Thoughtful Thursday.

All in all, this was a lovely spot with delicious, authentic Puerto Rican cuisine. Our only complaint was the lack of drinks as Lorena exclaimed, "what kind of Puerto Rican restaurant doesn't have alcohol?"

Mofongos Restaurant Information:

Open everyday 10:00 am - 10:00 pm

(818) 754-1051

5757 Lankershim Blvd.

North Hollywood, CA 91601

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Which restaurant should I try next? What is your favorite Puerto Rican dish? Let me know with a comment below!

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The Leaning Tower of Pisa

I journeyed day and night, battling weaving scooters, pickpocketing strangers, and frustrating electrical sockets to venture to a magical land. A wondrous place whose tale had been passed down from generation to generation. A little town that held a leaning tower of delicious Italian pizza.

We arrived to discover, much to our dismay, that there was no pizza in the tower to be found...so I kicked it over.

What is the Leaning Tower of Pisa?
Well, essentially, it is a bell tower that some idiot built incorrectly.

But maybe you want more details.

The Tower makes up one-fourth of the town square, Campo dei Miracoli, which translates to Field of Miracles. This complex also houses The Cathedral of Pisa (Il Duomo), the Baptistry, and the Monumental Cemetery.

Fun Fact: Galileo was baptized here in 1565.

The square's buildings were constructed using beautiful white marble, whose stark contrast against the green grass, blue sky, and colorful buildings surrounding left me with the silly notion that the monuments looked fake. Too perfect. Like toys that some giant child was going to come collect at any moment.

I say "some idiot" because historians are not exactly sure who was the brains behind building the tower.

Giovanni Pisano, Giovanni di Simone, and Tommaso Pisano worked to complete the structure during different installments over the course of 200 years. It is most probably Diotisalvi, though the lack of his usual signature creates skepticism amongst historians. This leaves the other two most probable architects, Bonanno Pisano and Gherardo din Gherardo, for consideration; however, the original architect remains unknown so the city has yet to lay blame for the ill-conceived architectural plans.

I say "some idiot" because not only is the tower leaning at a 3.97 degree angle, it is crooked.

The Leaning Tower of Pisa leans because it is sinking. In fact, the city got its name from the Greek word "pisa" meaning "marshy land." (Give me a word. Any word, and I show you that the root of that word is Greek!)

Construction began on the monument in 1173 and wasn't completed until 1372. The project's efforts had to be halted numerous times due to war and that pesky fact that the sinking ground was causing the tower to lean.

Throughout the years, the architects attempted to compensate for the lean by building the upper-level stories at an angle, with the north side walls shorter than the sinking south side's, producing a curved structure.

There have been many efforts to stabilize the tower, even in recent years. After being closed to the public, the tower was again open to tourists in 2001 following reconstruction efforts that claimed the tower would be stable for 300 years. Yet somehow just seven years later, in 2008, after more efforts to stabilize the foundation, the tower was promised 200 years without interference.

So naturally, feeling incredibly safe under these conditions, my mother and I climbed to the top of the sinking tower.

As I mentioned earlier, the Leaning Tower is actually a bell tower that houses 7 bells, one for each note in the C Major scale. The climb up is wider than I expected, after all the cathedrals we scaled in Europe, though it is uneven as the 297 stairs are worn in some areas.

It's difficult to say how high up we were as the north side of the tower is 56.67 meters (185.93 feet) tall while the south side is 55.86 meters (183.27 feet) tall.

The only thing left to do was join the other hundreds of tourists on the lawn to attempt fun landmark photos. After all, there are so many ways to try and hold the Leaning Tower up.

At the end of our adventure, we realized we were hungry. So we went and got some delicious Italian pizza.

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Show me your amazing photographs with famous landmarks! What did you think of the Leaning Tower on your visit? Let me know with a comment below!

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Writing an Original Song

I recently began covering songs and putting them up on YouTube. Like this:

And to be honest, it's been hard.

I know how to read music and have been singing and playing instruments for as long as I've been alive, but I've never had to figure out the music and piece a song together by ear.

Besides just not knowing which notes to play, it has been difficult to mix the music together and create a nicely produced sound.

Don't get me wrong--it's also been really fun. Or I wouldn't keep doing it.

I've learned a lot through producing and editing my own covers, and I am excited to continue to grow as an artist outside of covering prewritten material.

Which leads me to today's Fearless Friday. My intention was to write an original song.

I wish I could say that I succeeded, but I was unable to really finish an idea. However, I'm going to fight that critical perfectionist inner talk and say I'm really proud of myself for starting.

As someone with a Type A personality who tends to think things should be perfect in order to be considered a success, it's often hard to even begin a project for fear it won't come out as intended. That's something I've acknowledged and that I'm working on changing.

It's scary to begin writing, which is one of the main reasons why I started this blog. It is a way for me to write a little each day, regardless of how I may judge each post's quality. On the whole, I'm very proud and excited to have given myself this goal and been able to accomplish it on a daily basis.

Just like I'm proud today for venturing into the songwriting realm.

And just like creating the covers, it will be a process that will develop over time--from learning the structure of a song to writing and producing the music to making my first original video. I'll be sure to post it here on another Fearless Friday when the time comes!

Feel free to check out my other covers here.

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Do you write your own music? If so, what is the hardest part for you? (And also, where can I find your music?!) Let me know with a comment below!

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Comparing Yourself to a Facebook Profile

I often wonder if it would have been easier to grow up in my parents' generation, or even the one before that. A time without the immediacy technology gives us today.

But that's a very broad topic to be covered at a later date.

I want to focus more on social media and its effects on society, specifically how we compare ourselves to others, just from their online presence.

I have heard, and taken part in, many conversations that go something like this:
     "Everyone on Facebook is getting married."
     "Everyone is starting to have babies."
     "So-and-so just got a job and is moving to China."

I don't know. Something along those lines. People love to chitchat about who is dating whom, who procured employment, and just who in general is making better life progress than they.

It's so frustrating to be constantly bombarded with people's life updates: their accomplishments, their happiness, their steps toward creating the perfect life they always wanted.

We receive these notifications and interpret the message as failure in our own personal journey. It seems that our accomplishments pale in comparison with those of our friends and colleagues.

But that reasoning is illogical, because our perception of someone from glimpsing at his or her social media profile is a distortion of reality.

We are comparing our everyday struggles and insecurities with everyone else's highlight reel.

And this has been happening for awhile with celebrities. We see their success stories without knowing the hardships, decisions, and setbacks they faced. This gives us an alluring, yet false sense of hope that we may obtain the same successes, only without the hard work (because that's the part of the equation we never see).

Only recently has the same phenomenon spread to the everyman. A new world of online profiles has emerged with Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, MySpace, SquareSpace, and lots of other spaces that provide instant access to another person's life. You can immediately learn about the person you just met, and they can update that information within seconds at anytime from anywhere in the world.

But here's the thing: you are only seeing what they want you to see. That individual builds their online image only with what they are willing to post. So you are never really seeing the full picture.

And it's one thing to understand this, as I think most people do. It's another to actually fight your subconscious's inference that your performance is somehow subpar because it doesn't match what it sees from others on Facebook.

The best thing you can do is to be yourself. So cliché, yet so powerful.

Everyone is on their own unique path. And despite what their profiles may suggest, everyone is experiencing failure and uncertainty. Instead of negatively comparing yourself to what others advertise, support them in their efforts and continue doing your best without worrying about how they are living their lives.

So don't be afraid to make mistakes, just because you worry your track record won't look as impressive as someone else's if you experience failure and setbacks. Failure is the best way to learn and grow.

Remember, it's your unique journey, and I implore you to enjoy it every step of the way!

Here's the part where I ask you to look at my social media if you want...just don't negatively compare yourself to me ;) I'm doing my own weird thing.

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Do you compare yourself to other people on Facebook? How does social media influence your self-esteem? Let me know with a comment below!

And if you liked this post, don't forget to share it with your friends! And happy Thoughtful Thursday!