Be Kind

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."                                                          ~Ian Maclaren

I was so excited when I learned of this quote, because it had already become kind of a personal motto of mine.

Not to say I've never been mean (we're all human and I enjoy making sarcastic jokes), but many times I'm overly empathetic to someone's situation.

For instance, there was a game my friends sometimes played in high school where they'd stop driving at a green light just long enough for the car behind them to be stuck as the light turned red and they sped away. This should have been just a harmless inconvenience for their victims, but I always wondered if that person really needed to be somewhere.

What if they were racing to see their mother in the hospital? What if they were trying to get to their kid's basketball game on time? What if they were just having a really bad day and that was the last straw?

I know these circumstances may sound improbable and dramatic, but think of what you and your loved ones struggle with, not only during times of crisis, but on a daily basis. 

Right now, as you're reading this, you may know someone who was just diagnosed with cancer. Someone whose relative just passed away. Someone who just can't get that promotion no matter how hard they work and someone who doesn't know if they're going to be able to pay the bills this month. You may know someone who is being hurt by one they love or someone who is struggling with addiction. 

That someone could be you.

The point is, you don't know what's going on in someone else's life. And it seems to me that the small, temporary increase in your joy is not worth someone else's pain.

~

I was reminded of this when we ate at the Puerto Rican restaurant, Mofongos, that I wrote about in Tuesday's post.

I mentioned that our waitress spoke to me as we were getting ready to leave. 

She had been very nice the whole night as I randomly shouted "MOFONGOS!!!" using my best Vikings impression, gawked over the strange items on the menu, and made weird faces and laughed uncontrollably when I was too embarrassed to speak Spanish. 

After we'd paid and were gathering our things, she came over to the table to say thank you and told me that my crazy, silly self making her laugh was the happiest she'd been in three months. 

She held back tears as she explained that she hadn't been able to see her children during that time. The father lives far away and is abusing their joint custody agreement, making it difficult for her to see her own children. It started to sink in how long three months was as she showed us pictures of her two beautiful girls.

Yet somehow, if only for a brief moment, I had made it better. I was so overwhelmed by her story and how I could have that much effect on a person that I hugged her.

~

I hope sharing this story is not misconstrued as an attempt at boasting, but understood as an effort to reiterate that you never know what someone is going through. "Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

It's like I mentioned in last week's post, Comparing Yourself to a Facebook Profile. You only know what others are willing to share, and even those with whom you have the closest relationships may choose to not share their whole story (for various reasons, perhaps to ponder on a different day).

So I hope you remember to be kind.

It doesn't have to be big. In fact, it's those little things that can really add up and make a difference.

Be kind not to benefit you (though it will), but because it may be just what someone needed to alleviate their pain.

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When has someone shown you kindness at just the right moment? How have you demonstrated kindness without expecting anything in return? Let me know with a comment below!

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